HOW but not yet NOW
I am a woman.I fall in love.I fell in love.I loved.And currently,in love.With one guy named Mr. September.I refused to call him a wrong guy because in the eyes of a woman who loves him much,he is not.He is a one good guy- smart,sweet and loving.Yep!Almost perfect..ours is almost like a perfect scene in a big screen but not like the main characters in the movie we can’t be.Cannot be.So let go.Move on.Come on!!!
I don’t know.
I asked my friends and they gave tons of answers that they almost punch it all to my face with a broken smile.
I read some (hmm okay.okay.I’ll admit its kinda plenty) online articles about moving on.But the effect of those zillion advices only last so quick like 10 minutes.
I watched some break-up movies which I thought could help me in accepting the situation I am in but sadly it didn’t give me an inch of help.But instead, I end up spending the sunny day in my bed under my blanket all day.
So the question remain unanswered.
Simply because this crazy foolish heart doesn’t want to participate at all.No matter how many advices rain on my way the heart still feels and keeps the love.Together with love-filled memories, this heart couldn’t even let him go now.Not now.Not sure on tomorrow but surely it will happen.It will.There is no other way but to GO.
Yes,the saddest and hardest part of loving is to unloved your greatest love.
Keeping my fingers crossed,I know time will come I myself will be the one to let him go without rant of others.I know I will get tired of loving someone who I couldn’t ever have.I cannot stuck all my life with this as what my mind insists.There’s nothing I can do but to accept the heartbreaking reality and detach myself from this story.
One good thing about crazy wonderful love is it tells how capable you are in loving someone despite of catastrophe.You discover yourself that you can offer some deep kind of love to someone you are not related by blood.And most importantly,it makes you understand and accept the word FAILURE.
Sad experience doesn’t make us less as a person yet it increases the rate scale of your strength.It tells you that you are tough more than you ever thought.It tests the endurance of your heart and the capacity of your mind in handling chaos in life.
I am a woman with crazy unfixed heart.